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Loving someone with dementia – How to find hope while coping with stress and grief Pauline Boss, PhD
Loving Someone Who Has Dementia
If you care for a loved one with dementia, especially if it’s your spouse, Loving Someone With Dementia is a book I would add to your reading list.
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Dr. Boss calls dementia an ambiguous loss, or ambiguity, because the loved one is both here and gone. Any relationship you had before with the person with dementia is different now. In her words, the person is gone, but still there.
This ambiguity makes life difficult for the caregiver. The caregiver must find a middle ground. As Dr. Boss says, you have to find where they live together in absence and presence.
I found the author’s discussion of the ambiguities of dementia very interesting and relatable. Although it provides examples of how carers coped with the situations and describes the stresses of a carer’s life, it is a bit of a dry and slow read. For me, it wasn’t a book that I couldn’t put down to read parts of it at once.
I wish I had read this book before my mother died rather than after. I think it made me look at my relationship with my mother differently and maybe I could handle situations better. Teacher’s Guides & Footnotes for ESL Black & Indigenous Teacher’s Guides Black & Indigenous Book Clubs Higher Ed Book Clubs Audio & Video Resources Canadian Read Aloud
Loving Someone Who Has Dementia
Lewy Body Disease – is a type of dementia that is second only to Alzheimer’s in terms of numbers, but few of us have ever heard of his name.
It takes courage to face a serious illness, whether it’s you or someone you love. This is the story of two heroes, Julie and Ken Sobol. Julie and Ken were a writing partner as well as a life partner, so it was only natural that when Ken was caught in the horrible and deadly fog of Lewy Body Disease, they decided to write about their experience with the disease.
This story is not only a terrible pain, but an amazing relationship. As Ken’s illness progresses and his symptoms worsen, his voice on the page fades. Julie continues the story, sharing her grief, her grief, and trying to find the best treatment for her husband. Their history of LBD tricks is smart, insightful, enlightening, and often funny. It is — at heart — a love story.
“Pure grace under pressure … There is nothing maudlin; it was written to edify the readers, not to give catharsis to the writers. His quality is dignity and respect – for everyone, for life. They began to pay other parts. So Ken bad, Julie interviewed, eventually she moved on.
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“If you have ever cared for a loved one as they were dying, or if you have an elderly parent who now needs your care and assistance, or if you have accepted to face some of these – problems yourself,
“Clearly and honestly, with courage and a mysterious voice, the voice of Julie-and-Ken, the memory of this couple is sure to raise awareness about the LBD but, above all, it is a love story.” –
Julie Macfie Sobol and Ken Sobol met at Oberlin College in Ohio in 1958. After marrying and living in New York, London and Los Angeles, they and their three children moved to Canada in 1973. There Ken continued his Emmy-winning writing career for TVOntario. and other networks, mostly children’s TV and documentaries. He is also the author of several books for children. Julie is a painter and musician who has worked as a piano teacher and accompanist. Her paintings hang in homes in Canada, the United States and England. Julie and Ken began writing together for magazines in the 1980s, and later went on to write two social history books:
It started as a magazine about Lewy Body Dementia after Ken was diagnosed with the disease. As his symptoms progressed and their understanding of the disease progressed, the article became a book. The couple is forced to find new ways to live and write together. Ken died on August 5, 2010, just three weeks after moving into a long-term care facility. Julie, now a grandmother of six, continues to make her home in Toronto. It no longer supports older versions of your browser to ensure user data remains secure. Please update to the latest version
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