How To Deal With People That Lie – We lie to keep emotions at bay and avoid conflict, and sometimes in complicated situations, complacency is the lesser of two evils.
So, today we are looking at what to do when someone in your life falls on your face.
How To Deal With People That Lie
People lie for many reasons, and in many cases we do so because the gut-reading mud within every human being still influences our actions.
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Learning how to react when someone lies to you is a worthwhile endeavor that will serve you well throughout your life.
“Okay,” you say, “I see. Everyone lies; some lies are worse than others and there are three broad answers to deal with them. But specific examples of how to deal with a liar would help!”
For you, we have compiled this list of 11 ways to respond when you realize someone is lying to your face.
Yes, the hurtful lies. But before you get angry, assess the details of the situation. Did the person lie for a “good” reason? What are the consequences of lying? Have you lied like that in the past? (Be honest with yourself.)
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At the end of the day, not every battle is worth fighting. Life is short and stressful. If the lie in question is not a big deal, consider dropping it.
Moving away doesn’t mean we have to forgive or forget. Either way, use the information to determine how you interact with that person in the future.
Another way to handle a bald-faced lie is to play the fool. Ask questions that the lying group would find difficult to answer without stumbling. This is a great trick to use when you don’t want to address the pink elephant directly.
If the lie in question is not serious, turning the situation into a joke can reduce the tension created by the lie. For example, you can quickly walk away from someone who is lying. When they ask, “Why?” Say something like, “Are you kidding me!? I don’t want to get electrocuted!”
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This can be exceptionally difficult for non-conflict people. If this is you, consider practicing. Stand up in the mirror! Get used to how you feel. That way, when the time comes, you’ll be ready.
If you’re going to confront the person directly, it might not be the best idea to do it in a crowded place, especially if you’re not sure how they’ll react. Am I an aggressive person who will cause a scene?
Are they narcissists who can feel threatened and cause bigger problems? Or is it safe for you to fight in public? Weigh all these factors before you act and prioritize your safety!
As mentioned above, everyone lies. It can be hard to recognize – and we have a funny way of justifying our own biases while judging other people for us.
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Instead of pointing fingers and attacking your opponent with moral outrage, lead with confession. Lay out your flaws, which will make the other person feel more comfortable, which will make them open up and apologize directly to you for the lie.
Have you ever seen the Disney classic “The Sound of Music”? It’s about a kind and upstart governess named Maria who shakes things up in the house of a strict Austrian captain at the start of World War II. You see, there are seven kids to look after and 99% of them are a bit naughty.
So on Maria’s first night, the boys made fun of her. We’re talking pocket reptiles, folks. But instead of enjoying the little hedgehogs for dinner, Maria gives a long speech about how “grateful” she was for the “present” they left her.
By the time Maria finished, all the children were crying with guilt and Maria had earned the children’s trust and respect.
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Give the liar a chance to correct himself. Look them in the eye and ask them if they’re sure they didn’t make a mistake. Use this approach when you have the “goods” to follow up with facts that contradict their claim.
Also, try to make it clear from the start that you’re giving them one more chance to come clean before revealing the truth.
Occasionally, a situation will arise where you know someone is lying, but you don’t want the offender to get in trouble. Maybe that’s a fair lie; Perhaps the punishment is greater than it should be. Either way, you’re on the side of the liars.
When someone is lying to you in this situation and you want to be an ally, you can put an alternate scenario in their head and make them go along with your version.
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Make it clear you’re on their side by bowing your head and using distractions that beg them to go along with what you’re saying.
Between 1968 and 1989, Frank Colombo, of “Colombo” fame, was America’s favorite TV detective. A deranged workaholic, Colombo was a master at disarming people.
He would lull suspects into a state of overconfidence and make himself look like a stupid idiot—and then kill them with tough questions or incontrovertible evidence that exposed the killer’s lies.
Everyone has feelings, and calling them out is a great way to crack another person’s proverbial shell. If a loved one tells you a flat-faced lie, tell them they hurt your feelings by doing so.
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However, understand that this method only works if the person who is lying is really in love with you. After all, it’s much easier to lie to someone if you don’t share an attachment with them. Think about it: would you care if someone you didn’t like was mad at you?
Sometimes it pays to ask for some time to think things over. If someone is lying to you to your face and you’re not sure what to do about the situation, it’s perfectly acceptable to tell the person that you need to think about things and that you can get back to them at a later date.
This is a great option for people who are confused about the situation. This gives the lying party time to come clean on their own.
We’ve gone over the different ways you can deal with someone who lies to your face. Now let’s dive into some salvos—specific phrases to use when you want to tell someone they’re lying.
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Lying is not a virtue – but it is an inevitable part of life. So when someone teases you with a bald face, think before you react. Weigh the situation and choose the appropriate response based on the impact of the lie. We use cookies to be great. By using our website, you agree to our cookie policy. Cookie settings
This article was co-authored by Maya Diamond, MA. Maya Diamond is a dating and relationship coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 13 years of experience helping single people stuck in frustrating dating patterns find inner security, heal their pasts, and build healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Masters in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute for Integral Studies in 2009.
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Do you know someone who can’t tell the truth? Some people lie to make themselves look good or to get what they want, and some people lie because they believe what they say. Either way, confronting liars is a good place to deal with their bad behavior. It’s important to remember that you don’t have the power to change someone else – after all, you can only tell the truth. Read on to learn more about how to deal with a liar.
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This article was co-authored by Maya Diamond, MA. Maya Diamond is a dating and relationship coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 13 years of experience helping single people stuck in frustrating dating patterns find inner security, heal their pasts, and build healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Masters in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute for Integral Studies in 2009. This article has been viewed 917,847 times.
To confront a liar, document the times you catch them lying and any evidence that proves it. Then, talk to them privately, calmly bring up the specific lies you want to discuss, and give them a chance to explain. If they admit they lied, thank them for coming clean and end the conversation by saying you hope it doesn’t happen again. On the other hand, if they are defensive, show them any evidence you have gathered that contradicts their excuse. Finally, explain to them that if they keep lying to you, you won’t be able to trust them. To learn how to manage the aftermath of this difficult conflict, keep reading! If you’ve been hurt by lying, you’ll appreciate these 24 liar quotes that share some healing truths about dirty lies.
I’m a (best-selling) author and (award-winning) designer. I personally designed these fake quote image posters below – because (unfortunately) something happened in my life.
I was involved with a liar in love – whom I call Prince Harming.
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Plus I suffered a professional betrayal – co
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