How To Deal Difficult People – In The Art and Science of Dealing with Difficult People, David Brown outlines seven principles of relationship building that are critical to creating a successful work environment. Brown breaks down every rule by providing easy-to-understand tips and widely applicable management skills.
Brown’s philosophy is to approach workplace conflict as a problem from a managerial and organizational perspective. He offers advice on how to treat employees, while at the same time asking leaders to reflect and adjust themselves to facilitate a more efficient workplace. Readers will gain a deeper understanding of how their employees view their management staff, what leadership skills are most effective, and how to ensure two-way communication. Using Brown’s tried-and-true tools, anyone can focus on how to motivate, build trust, and create a psychological contract.
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Numerous case studies allow readers to see the powerful application of Brown’s recommendations in real-life scenarios and complex situations, such as mergers and acquisitions, data management, and more. In addition, The Art and Science of Dealing with Difficult People provides readers with skills derived from an understanding of the fundamentals of human behavior.
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By clicking ‘Sign me up’ I acknowledge that I have read and agree to the Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. Free eBook offer available to new US customers only. Redeemable offer at Simon & Schuster’s e-book fulfillment partner. Must be redeemed within 90 days. See full terms and conditions and this month’s selections. “He that is not wise despises his neighbor: but a wise man keeps his peace.” – Proverbs 11:12
“A man cannot resist or defend himself against criticism, he must act in spite of it, and then it will gradually catch up.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)
“Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are with him; lest at any time your adversary hand you over to the judge, and the judge hand you over to the officer, and you will be thrown into prison, I tell you the truth. I say. You will never get out of that place until you pay the highest price.—Matthew 5:25-26
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“Be who you are and say what you feel, because what people think doesn’t matter and what matters is.” – Dr. Seuss
“But as he that hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all speech.” – 1 Peter 1:15
“Do not join me with the wicked and the wicked, who speak peace to their neighbors, but in their hearts is evil.” – Psalm 28:3
“Even a fool, when he is silent, is considered wise: and he who closes his lips is considered a wise man.” – Proverbs 17:28
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“Because if you give someone love and kindness when he doesn’t deserve it in his actions, he will see that you probably really love him.” – Albert Ellis and Robert A. Harper
“Ehisa is not only the avoidance of external physical violence, but also the internal violence of the soul. Not only do you refuse to shoot a man, but you hate him.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
“Some stop their tongues, because they have no answer: and some, knowing their time, keep their peace.” — Ecclesiastes 20:6
“Nothing satisfies a sick tongue so much as when it finds an angry heart.” — Thomas Fuller
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“Treat a man as he is, and he will be what he is. Treat a man as he is, and he will be what he ought to be.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson Depending on the extreme of their behavior, I usually end up depressed or crying, although I don’t like it in these situations, sometimes it is simply unbearable.
Recently I had to “deal” with someone who was a little rough around the edges. This person is very precious to me, has a wonderful heart, but sometimes it is very difficult to be honest.
This note is a relationship I am ready to leave, so I was at a loss as to how to handle this person. I wanted to say something very nice, but I really didn’t want to hurt the relationship.
I also knew that I could be a difficult person to deal with at times, so I wanted to respond in a way that I wanted to be treated. I was wondering,
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After leaving the situation, I started reading my Bible and in the middle of my reading I came across this passage:
“But to all who listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hate you. If someone strikes you on one side, turn the other also. If someone asks for your coat, offer your shirt too. Get it back. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Luke 6:26-31 NLT (emphasis mine)
Specific words flowed through me – love, healing, blessing, prayer, giving – God answered my questions.
Yet, when the pain is not so obvious, we want to attack, argue, or leave the person. To help us navigate these relationships, God has given us guidelines for dealing with those who are difficult to handle.
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How do you deal with difficult people in the Bible? Love those who are difficult “Teacher, what is the greatest commandment in the law?” Jesus answered, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. The law and the prophets are based on these two commandments. Matthew 22:36-40 NIV
We have all heard the saying, love your neighbor as yourself. But what does loving your neighbor really mean?
The word for love here is asgapao (Strongs #G25). It actually means loving by choice and is an act of desire, or unconditional love.
Interestingly, this is the same word used for love in John 3:16, where it says, “God so loved the world”.
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In short, God is telling us, “No matter what they say, what they do, how you feel or don’t feel…I want you to love them as I love you. yes.”
Do good to the difficult people in your life as you would do to yourself. Luke 6:31
It also means “properly, so there is no room for shame.” As a verb, it is usually associated with speech acts.
Again, God reminds us what we say about this man! We don’t want to say something we regret later.
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Bless those who are hard to deal with “But I hear you: love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, for those who Pray that they treat you badly.” Luke 6:27-28 NIV
When I am upset with someone and I am convinced of where my heart is going, I ask the Lord to bless them.
The word for blessing in this passage is eulogio (Der. 2127). The word comes from good and said.
Sometimes we ask God to bless those who hurt us and then tell our friends what they did and how horrible it was.
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We naturally seek support from our friends and in return rally against those so that we can feel supported or at least have our own feelings.
Here we are asked to go to another level of maturity and actually talk about the good of the person, not just the avoidance of the negative.
Pray for hard people “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,” Matthew 5:44 NIV
However, when I read this passage again, I immediately saw some wisdom in waiting to pray for them.
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When I started looking at the order of Jesus’ words I found it interesting that he tells us to love them, be good to them, bless them and then pray for them.
If we have done these other things before, when we pray for them, there is a good chance that our hearts will turn to them. If we pray for this difficult person first, it is possible that we will do it rudely and later reject our prayer by making negative comments about them.
When I give someone a gift, it means blessing. And this is not easy.
I think it is very important for this part to be “attuned” to God, to really seek what He gives.
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. (Reminding myself it’s not about me!) Maybe it’s forgiveness, grace, kindness, understanding or it’s a real gift.
When you receive a gift, you rarely think, “What a mean person! Why are they giving me a gift?”
We might wonder and question, but if someone does the above-mentioned things, their motives are pure, right?
Also, the Bible tells us that “gifts can open doors; it
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