How To Deal With Difficult People – Depending on the extremes of their attitude, I often feel sad or cry. Although I don’t like being in these situations, sometimes they are simply unavoidable.
Lately I’ve had to “deal” with someone who can be a little rough around the edges. This man is very precious to me, he has a big heart, but to be honest – sometimes he can be very difficult.
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I am not willing to give up this relationship, so I don’t know how to handle this person. I want to say something bad, but I really don’t want to ruin the relationship.
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I’m also aware that I can be a difficult person to handle at times, so I want to respond the way I want to be treated. I’m curious,
After I got out of that situation, I started reading the Bible and in the middle of reading I saw this verse:
“But to those who are willing to listen, I say: love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who have hurt you. If someone slaps you in the face, give the other cheek. If someone asks for your coat, give them your shirt. And if things are taken from you, don’t try to get them back. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Luke 6:26-31 NLT (emphasis added)
Specific words started to jump out of me – love, do good, bless, pray, give – God gave me the answer to my question.
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However, if the pain is not so obvious, we may tend to attack, argue, or leave the person. To help us navigate these relationships, God has given us a guide for dealing with the difficult stuff.
How do you deal with difficult people the biblical way? Love the needy “Master, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus answered: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment, the second is like this: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” All laws and prophets obey these two commandments. “Matthew 22:36-40 NIV
We all know to love your neighbor as yourself. But what does it really mean to love one’s neighbor?
The word for love here is isagapao (Strongs # G25). It actually means love based on choice and is an act of voluntary or unconditional love.
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Interestingly, this is the same word used for love in John 3:16 where it says, “God loved the world.”
In essence, God is telling us, “It doesn’t matter what they say, what they do, how you feel or don’t…I want you to love them the way I love you.”
Do good to the difficult people in your life Do unto others as you would do unto them. Luke 6:31 NIV
It also means “true so that there is no room for shame.” As an adverb, it is often combined with the verb to speak.
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God reminds us again to see what we have to say about this person! We don’t want to say something we’ll regret later.
Bless those who are hard to deal with “But you who hear me say, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who persecute you.” Luke 6:27-28 NIV
If I hurt you with someone and I am sure where my heart is going, then I ask for God’s blessing.
The blessing in this passage comes from eulogeo (Strongs #2127). It comes from speech and speech.
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Many times we ask God to bless someone who upsets us, and then we go and tell our friends what they did and how horrible they are.
Of course, we want our friends to be supportive and in turn draw them to the person so that we feel supported, or at least our feelings.
Here we ask you to go to another level of maturity and speak really good things about people, not just stick to the negatives.
Pray for those in need “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Matthew 5:44 NIV
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However, as I reread this scripture, I see the wisdom in waiting to pray for them right away.
As I began to consider the order of Jesus’ words, I found it interesting when Hetell said to love them, be good to them, bless them, and then pray for them.
If we had done these things first, by the time we mixed them up, we probably would have turned our hearts to them. If we first pray for this person in need, we are most likely to do so reluctantly and negate our prayers with negative comments afterward.
When I give someone a gift, it means a blessing. And this is not easy to do.
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I’m thinking about this part, it’s important to “tune in” with God, we’re really looking to Him for what to give.
. (Remind yourself it’s not about me!) Maybe it’s forgiveness, grace, kindness, understanding, or a real gift.
When you receive a gift, you rarely think, “What a mean person! Why would they give you a gift?”
We can be surprised and question the motives, but if someone does the opposite of the above, then their actions are merely presented, right?
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Also, the Bible tells us that “Giving can open doors; gives you access to the people who matter! ” (Proverbs 18:16).
After showing us how to treat those in need, Jesus showed us the promise of our obedience: “Therefore your heavenly reward will be abundant, and you will truly be sons of the Most High, for He is gracious. imaginary and evil people. You must be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” Luke 6:35 NLT
Is God saying things to you that can bring healing not only to the person involved, but also to the relationship itself?
When we go out and do what He asks of us, we experience relationships on a whole new level.
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Father, thank you for giving us direction in our relationships. Thank you for showing us how to deal with people who are in trouble. Give us the opportunity to apply these principles in our lives. Help us see difficult people as you see them. Lord, we admit that we can be difficult people sometimes. Show us how to be like you. In the name of Jesus, Amen!
(Here are some links to additional resources! I earn from my qualifying purchases as an Amazon affiliate. You can read my full disclosure here) ** Please note that not all of these resources are Christian-based books ** From In The Art and Science of Handling Difficult People David Brown outlines seven key relationship-building principles for creating a successful work environment. Brown breaks down each principle by providing easy-to-understand instructions and widely applicable leadership skills.
Brown’s philosophy is to treat workplace conflict as a problem from both the perspective of management and subordinates. It offers advice on how to treat employees and asks managers to reflect and self-regulate to promote a more productive workplace. Readers will gain a deeper understanding of how their employees view management, which leadership skills are most effective, and how to ensure two-way communication. With Brown’s proven tools, anyone can learn to focus on motivation, building trust, and building psychological contracts.
Numerous case studies allow the reader to observe the concrete application of Brown’s recommendations in real-life and complex situations, such as employee mergers and integrations, information management, and more. In addition, The Art and Science of Dealing with Difficult People provides readers with the skills to understand the fundamentals of human behavior.
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“Resisting criticism one cannot protest or defend oneself; nevertheless he must act, and then it will gradually yield to him. -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)
“Make peace with your enemies quickly, go your way; Never be your enemy who gives you to a judge and the judge to an officer and you are thrown into jail. Sure, I tell you, you won’t get out of there until you pay the price. ” – Matthew 5:25-26
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“Be yourself and say what you feel because people
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