Talking With Alzheimer Patients – ‘I want to go home’ advice – What to say to a person with dementia in care Blog ‘I want to go home’ advice – What to say to a person with dementia in care Blog
Here are some ways family members and primary caregivers can approach the difficult question, “What do I say to someone with dementia in a nursing home who wants to go home?”
Talking With Alzheimer Patients
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It is not uncommon for a person with dementia in a nursing home to say they want to go home. This can be due to time changes and can be annoying for everyone.
Below are some thoughts on what to say to someone who wants to go home in this situation.
5 things to remember when someone with dementia asks to go home 1. Avoid arguments about whether they are ‘home’ or not.
For a person with dementia, the word ‘home’ can describe something more than the place where they currently live. When a person with dementia asks to go home, they often refer to feeling at home rather than at home.
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“Home” can represent memories of a time or place that was comfortable and safe and where they felt relaxed and happy. It can also be an indefinite place that does not physically exist.
It is better not to disagree with the person or try to talk them out of wanting to return home.
If he or she does not recognize his or her environment as ‘home’ at that moment, then it is not home at that moment.
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Try to understand and acknowledge the feelings behind the desire to go home. Find out where ‘home’ is for them – it might not be their last. It could be where they recently lived before moving, or somewhere in their distant past.
People with dementia often describe ‘home’ as a pleasant, peaceful or idyllic place where they are happy. We can encourage them to talk about why they are happy there. This can give them an idea of what they need to feel better.
The desire to go home is probably the same desire that anyone would have if they found themselves in an unknown and unreal place.
Calm the person verbally, preferably by touching or holding hands. Let the person know they are safe.
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This can help ensure that the person still cares. They may live in a different place than before and need to know that they are taken care of.
Tips on what not to say to a person with dementia What not to say to a person with dementia. A poor choice of advice language can be harmful and frustrating. Here are some words and questions to avoid. Choosing the wrong language can be painful and frustrating. Here are some words and questions to avoid. … August 29, 2017 298 comments.
Keep a photo album handy. Sometimes looking at pictures from their past will reduce anxiety and give them a chance to reminisce. It’s best to avoid asking about the picture or the past, instead try to make comments like, ‘That looks like Uncle Fred. About the time my grandmother told me…’
A person with dementia may want to “go home” because of feelings of anxiety, uncertainty, depression or fear.
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Is the person with dementia happy or sad now? If they are unhappy, it is possible to find out why. If they can’t tell you why, maybe a member of staff or another resident knows why.
Like other people, a person with dementia may behave strangely towards their loved ones due to a bad mood or a bad day.
Does the person with dementia keep talking about going home when people don’t visit them in the nursing home? Does he or she seem otherwise settled? House staff will know.
Some parts of the day can be worse than others. What is the common denominator during this period? Is it almost time for dinner (and a snack could help)? Is it when the environment is noisier than usual? Is it later in the day and maybe because of the “sunset”?
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If you are caring for or supporting someone with dementia and thinking about choosing the right care home, our guide will help. This free resource also contains tips for moving into a care home, including advice on how to apply to go home.
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Choosing the wrong language can be painful and frustrating. Here are some words and questions to avoid.
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How and when language problems develop depends on the individual, as well as the type and degree of dementia. A person with this condition may have trouble remembering or finding the right words, but the words other people use are also important.
Good communication can be important for a person with dementia to live well. Here are some words and questions to avoid in conversation.
It may be tempting to try to recall the memory of someone with dementia, but these types of questions often bring back lost memories. This can be a frustrating or painful experience, and there is no evidence that such brain training helps preserve memories. This does not mean that you should avoid talking about the past, but it is better to lead and allow the conversation. the person joining.
Instead of asking questions, try leading with “I remember when…” That way, the person can silently browse their memory without feeling awkward, and then join in if they want to.
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Answering the same question multiple times can be frustrating, but it will be repetitive. It helps a little to vent your frustrations to someone with dementia and say “I just told you so”.
Try to be as polite and patient as possible. It is important for someone with dementia to feel heard and understood.
A person with dementia may forget past grief or pray for someone who has died. But reminding them of the death of a loved one can be painful, causing them to relive the grief they’ve already experienced. How caregivers respond to this can vary from situation to situation, but it’s always best to show sensitivity.
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It is better to find another reason for someone’s absence, but sometimes a gentle reminder is appropriate. In the later stages of dementia, trying to remind the person that they are dead is not possible and can be avoided.
Avoid asking too many open-ended questions, as it can be stressful for a person with dementia if they can’t remember the answer. While it’s polite to ask someone about their day, it’s best to focus on what’s going on right now. It is also important that people with dementia continue to make personal decisions, but identifying options can be a useful technique.
Instead of ‘What would you like to drink?’, you can ask ‘Would you like tea or coffee?’ or more simply, ‘Would you like a cup of tea?’
It can be frustrating not to be recognized by someone with dementia, but remember that the feeling is mutual. If you ask a person if they know who you are, they may feel guilty if they don’t remember, or upset if they do.
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How you greet someone with dementia can vary depending on their condition – it’s up to you, but keep it kind. Maybe a warm greeting or that will do
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