How To Deal With An Angry Coworker

How To Deal With An Angry Coworker – On Tuesday morning, your phone goes off and you can’t help but see the first email in your inbox. You read the first few words and start to worry: Is your boss crazy? Keep reading and it’s true – it’s really steamy.

Fortunately, there is a simple four-step plan for winning over an angry person in a professional and easy way.

How To Deal With An Angry Coworker

First of all, you need to answer the question: how does he feel? That’s because one of the most common mistakes people make is to jump on the defensive. You know the habit of making excuses why you shouldn’t be charged, right? Don’t go there.

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Instead, take a moment to stop and realize that the other person is experiencing emotions. So if you brush her off by saying it’s not your fault, you’re invalidating her feelings. What you’re trying to do is show that you empathize with the situation and that her feelings matter.

To do this, you need to stop and imagine – imagine what it would be like to be in the other person’s shoes. Let’s say your colleague felt you threw him under the bus in front of his boss. Ask yourself: What is going through his mind? Maybe he still shies away from criticism of hard work and feels like he’s on thin ice, or maybe his contributions seem routinely overlooked. When you begin to imagine what someone is going through, you will feel much better if you show genuine empathy.

Then, using some of the emotions from the scenario you imagined, craft a message that validates what the other person is going through. Start the sentence with “you”, not “I”. See how different these two approaches are for similar situations:

Now that you’ve imagined the other person’s feelings, take it a step further and think about why it happened.

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In addition to empathy, another way to make your response sound like an excuse is to add some context to the situation so that the person has a higher-level view of why something happened. Nine times out of 10, I vote for full transparency because it helps build trust and camaraderie. Personally, it has always helped me resolve conflicts at work.

You can choose the level of transparency you want to impose, but the spirit of this principle is to answer the question “Why did this happen?” as honest as possible. If you give a reason, you are more likely to get consent.

In a classic experiment by Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer, subjects were asked to cut in line for a copying machine. They tested whether giving reasons why they were switching would make a difference.

The result: someone simply says, “Excuse me, I have five pages. Can I use the photocopier? 60% of people allowed him to make the cut. But one person said, “Excuse me, I have five pages. Can I use the photocopier because I’m in a hurry? success rate increased to 94%! The lesson is that when you share “because” people are more likely to be on your side.

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Think: “I didn’t see the email with your changes before the meeting” and “I didn’t see the email with your changes before the meeting because I was rehearsing the presentation.” The other person may be angry either way, but with the second option, you’re just letting them know you’re not paying attention.

In some cases, an apology can be helpful, but it can be different. If you’ve clearly made a mistake (such as being late, rejecting someone’s idea, or forgetting to do something), then admit it and apologize.

If there’s no error or it’s unclear (for example, you missed a video call because the internet was down in the entire office building), then make the best decision. Don’t hesitate to apologize unless you mean it and you’re really at fault.

Using a similar example from step 2, let’s say you missed an email with some PowerPoint changes you were going to present because you were busy preparing. It wasn’t entirely your fault. You wanted to practice before the presentation, so you didn’t check your email an hour before it. However, he is upset that his changes are not included. You can say:

A Four Step Plan For Dealing With An Angry Coworker

“You may be upset that your edits didn’t make it into the presentation, and I totally understand that.” But I was so focused on the presentation that I didn’t check my email an hour before the session. The changes you suggested were excellent. Next time, let’s schedule a 15-minute meeting before the presentation to make sure we’re on the same page. Step 4: Define the next steps

The best way to conclude and move forward is to explain the best next steps to address what is happening. If you’re dealing with an angry customer, you can explain what steps your company is taking to ensure the confusion doesn’t happen again, or suggest a follow-up meeting. Using your friend’s sample resume, you can suggest other ways you want to help him in his job search.

Completing the response in this way closes the loop. People want closure. Social psychologist Arie Kruglanski defines this as “cognitive closure,” or the need to find a solid answer and move away from uncertainty. Research has shown that changing deadlines and environments (ie, the workplace) increase our need for “cognitive closure,” making closing the loop even more important in work-related scenarios.

What if there are no clear “next steps”? Sometimes it helps to give people a forum to turn to or complain to, so in this case it’s to let them know they heard. One way to do this is to suggest that you take your concerns to your manager, or if your boss is upset, suggest that you review the specific complaint and make sure you make the necessary changes.

Annoying Co Workers, And How To Deal With Them

Dealing with an angry person can be really scary. By following this four-step process, you can empathize, take responsibility, and turn it into a relationship-building opportunity. Mistakes happen, it’s part of life. What differentiates confident people is how they react when these wrong situations arise. If you think it’s not a big crisis, you’ll be remembered not for what actually happened, but for how you reacted. At some point in your career, you will undoubtedly cross paths with colleagues who annoy you. Maybe their light brown nose is to assume that their opinion is the only right one on the planet, or to get on the boss’s good side. Maybe you can’t stand how their arrogance, moodiness or temper can harm the company culture.

Difficult colleagues can stir your emotions. They trigger something in you that makes you act or think almost irrationally, which is not a healthy situation in which to thrive. Sooner or later, you may find that your anger has grown to such an extent

Unfortunately, if you have annoying co-workers, you can’t remove them from your life. Avoiding them in the office or avoiding one-on-one meetings won’t work either.

Fortunately, there is a way to change the situation in a positive way, which comes from the opposite concept of dealing with difficult people. When we see a quality in someone else that bothers us, it can be helpful to pause for a clear overview

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The friction of dealing with an annoying colleague actually provides an opportunity to develop important leadership skills such as assertiveness, self-awareness and confidence. It can provide an unexpected opportunity for personal growth that goes far beyond testing the limits of your patience.

The “looking in the mirror” strategy involved in leadership development may seem simple, but it is not always easy. In fact, it can reveal ways you don’t want to be treated badly (such as yelling or criticizing), revealing how you need to strengthen personal boundaries in relationships, including relationships with co-workers or co-workers. your boss For others, it can affect vulnerabilities such as feeling like a fraud at work or seeking approval in the office. These difficult emotions require courage and bravery. Most people spend a lot of time ignoring these difficulties, “looking in the mirror” reveals the path of personal growth.

Instead of just getting angry when you feel like someone is driving you up the wall, realize that their behavior or behavior is causing you to learn a lesson about yourself. Trying to be more tolerant of this person is not a long-term solution. Tap into their frustration and sign up for our free remote team management training series to gain self-awareness and become a better leader in the process. Five lessons and five tools delivered to your inbox over the next five weeks. .

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