How To Talk To People With Dementia – You are here: Home 1 / Blog 2 / Professionals 3 / Action Professionals 4 / Communicating Alzheimer’s
Never stop communicating. As Alzheimer’s disease progresses, it slowly erodes a person’s ability to communicate verbally. One of the classic symptoms of Alzheimer’s is difficulty “finding the right word” during a conversation. Another common difficulty is structuring a logically ordered sentence. These handicaps are frustrating, as you can imagine and have probably seen. Communicating with Alzheimer’s is hard, but keep trying. Even more frustrating for the person with Alzheimer’s disease than the difficulty they have in opening up their thoughts to you is the thought that you have given up trying or don’t want to communicate with them.
How To Talk To People With Dementia
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This may seem contradictory at best. Yes, there are some skills that will greatly improve how well you communicate with someone who has dementia, but some of the suggestions below will increase the effectiveness of your communication, no matter who you’re talking to. We just don’t always take the time or make the effort to really engage in conversation.
What Not To Say To Somebody With Dementia
Be sincere. Like children, people with Alzheimer’s have a way of intuitively knowing whether or not someone is being honest with them. They will often demand honesty from you, verbally or otherwise, and this is often interpreted by caregivers and family members as arousal. This honesty does not require that you always be completely truthful and truthful. (Read more about the reality of someone with Alzheimer’s.) This honesty is emotional sincerity, communication in the moment.
Bernice enjoyed looking through her book of 1950s Sears fashions, showing Holly the dresses she ordered and even the ones she designed. (Bernice worked for Sears in the sixties, giving sewing workshops to women all over the country.) [pullquote] … the person with dementia often cannot remember how to relate to others and can only communicate as it is, here and now . Overcoming the relationship is up to me, up to us.
~ Nancy Pierce Inside Alzheimer’s[/pullquote] Suddenly she looked at Holly and with real concern said, “I haven’t seen my mom today!” Holly simply said, “I’m sure she’s fine.” Bernice went back to her book. , a potential mini-crisis averted.
This incident occurred around the time Bernice entered the later stages of Alzheimer’s, and illustrates less sincerity than judgment. Total honesty would require Holly to tell Bernice that her mother is dead. No matter how she said it, “Your mother died a long time ago, Bernice,” or “Your mother died, Bernice, you know that,” would upset Bernice and make her repeat the grieving process she had gone through many years before. . Redundant And the whole process would repeat itself the next time she asked about her mother.
How To Talk To Someone With Dementa
Maintain eye contact. It is also important to make and maintain eye contact when talking with anyone who has Alzheimer’s disease. This shows that you are paying attention and makes it easier for him to understand what you are saying, or at least what you mean. Not having this very intimate relationship shows him that you don’t really care about him as a person, you don’t care about what he has to say. Eye contact also reassures him that you are honest.
Keep a sense of humor. Laughter is not always the best medicine as the saying suggests, but it is very effective and all the side effects are good. A person often retains a sense of humor after dementia has robbed them of many memories and other cognitive abilities. The limbic system is responsible for emotional memories, and this part of the brain remains relatively functional when other cognitive abilities are damaged by Alzheimer’s. Be careful never to make a person with dementia the subject of a practical joke and keep the level of humor appropriate for their scene. Political humor, for example, won’t work well, but a humorous mime probably will.
Use touch to improve communication. Touch can be as simple as holding your hand or lightly touching your forehead in a comforting gesture. It could be a back rub or involve a gentle hand or foot massage. There isn’t much clinical research yet on the effects of massage and touch on people with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, but practitioners report many benefits.
The following is from Massage and Alzheimer’s Disease: What Would Maslow Say?, Article by Ann Catlin, LMT, NCTMB, OTR:
Information & Workshops
As a licensed massage therapist and compassionate touch practitioner, I have witnessed the transformation that can occur when intentional touch is offered, improving the quality of life for people living with Alzheimer’s disease. For example: The woman, closed and considered non-verbal, who looked me in the eyes and said “thank you” after a hand massage. The gentleman whose agitation was calmed by a simple back rub that allowed the nurse to help him dress without the usual struggle. The activity director who told me, “She’s been here for a few months, but when I gave her a hand massage, I felt like I really knew her for the first time!” So what is the root of these seemingly magical moments. ? Clearly something deep is going on that goes beyond mere touch. We can explore the connection between human needs and well-being to better understand how deep our touch is.
Realize that non-verbal communication is an important form of communication and your loved one with dementia may understand what you are saying better with your body than with your words. If you cross your arms in front of you and tell your mom, “It’s a beautiful day and we’re going to have a lot of fun today,” she’ll see that you’re turning her off more clearly than she can hear. you, including her.
Avoid or eliminate background noise and other distractions. Impaired brain function as well as impaired hearing makes it difficult to separate background noise from the sound (conversation, music, or whatever) that is important in the moment.
Don’t argue. You have entered the Alzheimer’s universe, and the first rule of that universe is that you will lose all arguments. Arguments are based on reasoning ability. Mind, along with memory and judgment, is in the cognitive domain and is affected quite early in the progression of many dementias, including Alzheimer’s disease. Arguing with a person who has dementia is like reasoning with a person who has lost the ability to reason. Maybe it’s time for a bath or shower. You know mom hasn’t showered in three days, but when you mention it, she looks right at you and tells you she showered this morning. Your first thought is to remind her that she didn’t, that her last shower was three days ago. No matter how right you are, no matter how nice you try to remind her of this fact, you’ve just started an argument and… Well, rule No. 1. But that’s not the worst of it; you and everyone involved will end up disappointed, possibly angry, and no one will gain anything. If this back and forth goes on for more than a few minutes, discard it. It’s not that important; at least it’s not critical. The best thing you can do is redirect her attention to something you know she likes to do, and come back to the shower later with a different perspective.
Get To Know The People Behind The Helpline, Alzheimer’s Association, Amherst, Ny
Give your loved one time to respond. Most dementias affect a person’s ability to process speech. When the condition affects the speech centers of the brain, the individual will not only have trouble understanding what you are saying, but will also take some time to formulate a response. Be patient and help with words if possible.
Ask simple yes or no questions or give limited choices. Don’t ask dad if he wants something to drink. Ask him if he would like to drink water instead. Or give a limited choice: “Would you like a cup of coffee? Or would you prefer tea?’
As simple as that sounds, it is perhaps the most difficult of the suggestions on this page, and perhaps the most important. It is frustrating for someone who is asked about something in the past to have no memory of the event. Asking this person about his plans for tomorrow when he has lost the concept of the future, or at least the ability to project into the future, is also disappointing. As Alzheimer’s progresses, a person lives more and more in the present, and this is where you will effectively communicate with him or her.
A situation we often see when we visit Alzheimer’s communities is the well-meaning family member who comes to visit and tries to start the conversation with a question like, “So what’s for lunch, Dad?” Very often dad doesn’t remember.
Answering The Same Questions Over And Over: How To Talk To People With Dementia
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